At the end of one more failed relationship, my Mentor asked me to write my story. I had no idea that I even had a story or where to begin. It took 15 years for me to realize that I had a voice. The challenges, fears, and darkest hours of my life led me to deepen my knowledge of myself and why I do the things I do.
My story began with a high-stress family: a high-achieving father and a perfectionist mother, from a long line of women who didn’t express how they felt unless it was a hysterical outburst. The first few days of my life were spent without food and nourishment as every time my mother fed me I would throw it up. My father was the first non-union contractor in Northern Nevada in the 1970s and the events that transpired between my father and the union should be a movie script. The issues my father experienced went on to add more chaos to my formative years, despite my parent’s best efforts to shield both myself and my sister.
As a result, I’m a recovering people pleaser, high achiever with OCD, and an anxiety disorder. During my youth I learned to fly under the radar, to be seen and not heard, and that I am only lovable if I am “doing” things or caretaking for others. I now know that those feelings were not only felt by me, making me the norm, NOT the exception.
My story includes messy and painful blunders, a few physical near-death experiences, bridges burned (some of which I may still have had the lighter in my hand), “what was I thinking?” moments, and the top ten most fantastic mess-ups of my life. Most importantly, I realized my life’s work has been created from my cellular and sometimes cosmic AH-HA moments.
My entire life has been training me to be of service to others. If I wasn’t enrolled in a course or certification to figure out how to feel better, I was struggling with my own physical health and emotional wellness. It was perfect practice to integrate what I learned from my training and certifications. During my journey through this earthly “finishing school,” I’ve faced food allergies, eating disorders, drug and alcohol abuse, sexual abuse, failed relationships, thoughts of suicide, a dead-end career, failed attempts to start businesses, struggles to keep my business going, and finally a myriad of medical diagnoses for a mystery illness ranging from adrenal fatigue, Polycystic ovary syndrome, endometriosis, skin cancer, metabolic syndrome, pre-diabetes, Hashimoto’s, and so much more.